Brrrrr….

Answer:  It was hot here today. Really hot.  The kids and I went to sit on the steps that lead down to Lake Champlain to feel how cold the water was (47 degrees was the official reading in Burlington).  Here’s how it went:

Firstborn child: I wish I could swim.
Snarky mother who thinks he is bluffing:  Go ahead.
Firstborn  leaves before snarky mother has chance to explain that she didn’t mean it, reappears with swimsuit and towel.  He jumps in.  It’s cold.  He jumps out.
Secondborn child:  I want to swim, too.
Mother (sighing because fair is fair):   Go ahead.  We’ll dry your clothes later.
Secondborn jumps in.  It’s cold.  She jumps out.  Firstborn points out that her hair is not wet, so she doesn’t get credit.  She jumps back in.  Wets hair.  Still cold.  Jumps out.
Firstborn:  Who do you think will be last in our family?  You or Dad?

At this point, a well-adjusted grownup chuckles and collects the towels to head back to the house.  An overgrown kid removes sneakers, jumps into lake, dives under (so it counts), and returns home with wet hair and wet children to await Dad’s arrival for bragging fest.  My legs are still numb, but it was worth it.